Sunday, October 24, 2010

Stretchy jeans

I put on a pair of jeans today that fit right at my waist. Not Mortimer level, just comfy. Nothing flopping over the top, no granny panties sticking out that I have to hide with the appropriate top.  No belt necessary to compensate for the expansion of the "stretch" fabric.  I try to look a little bit cool, but not really all that hard.  I taught preschool for a number of years and didn't need high fashion or anything TOO nice because it would likely be used as a dropcloth, hanky or napkin at some point.  I have tried to "update" my look on occasion and have bought some of the lower-waisted pants/jeans etc.  I am always trying to pull them up, because they always feel like they are falling down.  Or I pooch my stomach out to make them feel tighter and that is just not very cute...  I have bought the lower-waisted underwear too and bigger belts to fit my hips rather than waist.  It just never ends. I found some stretchy jeans that seemed fine at first but after a few washings, the waist was all "wee-wonky" as my kids would say.  I don't get it.. well, I do. The fashion gurus have to keep us gyrating around so they can sell more and more stuff.

 I totally skipped the bullet holed, run-over  jeans and the ones that looked like a horse dragged you for miles through rough gravel.  Now jeans are so long legged that you are supposed to wear those eight inch heels with them or pay extra to have them hemmed and then they look weird.  No one really wins but the people at the top of the fashion food chain.  We keep voluntarily biting the worm and getting the hook.  I recently went into the very popular Anthropologie store and tried on a pair of their jeans.. First of all they were $168. Second - they were European-sized which messes with my head. Third the sales person said "Oh! Those look SOOOO great on you, you MUST get them.. "  I guess she did not see that I was turning purple because they were so tight, AND I felt like I was wrapped in elastic bandages.  I was having a hard time walking.  I mentioned that maybe I should try the next size and she said "Oh no, honey, you don't want to do that, they are the stretchy kind and after a few wears they loosen up and drive you crazy!"   but I should buy the ones that make me feel like a living mummy and pay how much? And still have to pay to hem them?!!  I left without buying anything and I think I even cried a little on the way home at how ridiculous the whole clothing world is for women.  I can't even talk about "jeggings" - jeans/leggings... maybe another day for that one.


  1. The fashion industry is run by misogynists- men don't have the same problem and it sucks!